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His thoughts tumbled in
his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer
without Cling Free.
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Her hair glistened in
the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.
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He spoke with the wisdom
that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he
looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in
it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the
dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a
pinhole in it. |
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The little boat gently
drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.
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From the attic came an
unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when
you're on vacation in another city and "Jeopardy" comes on at 7 p.m.
instead of 7:30. |
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She caught your eye like
one of those pointy hook latches that used to dangle from screen doors
and would fly up whenever you banged the door open again.
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Her eyes were like two
brown circles with big black dots in the center.
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Bob was as perplexed as
a hacker who means to access T:\flw.quid55328.com\aaakk/ch@ung but gets
T:\flw.quidaaakk/ch@ung by mistake.
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Her vocabulary was as
bad as, like, whatever.
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He was as tall as a
six-foot-three-inch tree.
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Her date was pleasant
enough, but she knew that if her life was a movie this guy would be
buried in the credits as something like "Second Tall Man."
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Long separated by cruel
fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each
other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m.
traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35
mph. |
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They lived in a typical
suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's
teeth. |
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John and Mary had never
met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met. |
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The thunder was
ominous-sounding, much like the sound of a thin sheet of metal being
shaken backstage during the storm scene in a play. |
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The red brick wall was
the color of a brick-red Crayola crayon. |
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