It was a sight to behold. Dylan-Herc arrived just in time to see twelve men standing in awe of Rhade’s attire, neither moving nor making an effort to strike. Behind him stood the beautiful buxom brunette, giggling to herself, as Rhade stood there, dumbstruck at the scene unfolding before him.

“Dylan, what on Terazed has happened to you? And who’s this clown?” Rhade asked incredulously while pointing to Iolaus.

“Whaddya mean, clown?” answered Iolaus. “I’ll have you know I was buddies with Herc…er, Dylan…long before you set eyes on him!”

“Well blondie…you can have him back. He’s a pain in my arsenine!” snarled Rhade.

“Blondie? Who you callin’ blondie?” Iolaus fumed, but the two of them ignored him as they continued to discuss their own personal agendas.

“Oh, so now you’ve decided to come rescue the woman, have you?” Dylan said with a smirk. “Just earlier today, you were trying to choke the life out of her! Had it not been for me being there you would have succeeded, too!”

“Phsaw, Dylan…you know you only came to her rescue back at the bar because you wanted her for yourself!”

“That’s not true and you know it, Rhade!”

“Admit it, Dylan…ever since I arrived on Andromeda you’ve been jealous of me. I’m superior to you in every way – genetically, physically, look-wise, and…other ways…” Rhade’s words trailed off when he remembered who was standing behind him. Her face flushed with embarrassment, but she secretly wished the Nietzschean had explained himself further in this area. In the meantime, the gang of twelve smelly men continued staring at Rhade’s leather trousers.

“Um, Herc…why are these men staring at this man’s pants?” asked Iolaus curiously.

As Iolaus spoke these words, the twelve men turned their heads in the direction of Dylan-Herc and Iolaus – who were also wearing leather trousers. Again the men’s jaws dropped in awe and respect of the images before them.

“See Rhade…you’re not the only one that looks good in leather,” quipped Dylan. “Once upon a time, I was more buff than you, stronger than you, my hair was longer than yours, and my best friend treated me with respect instead of betraying me.”

“Well, there was that one time I betrayed you, Herc,” reminded Iolaus.

“That doesn’t count…you were under the influence of Dagon.”

“Where did you get those pants, anyway?” sneered Rhade, doing little to hide the fact that he did indeed feel just a slight twinge of jealousy when he realized that this new Dylan was much more of a challenger to his testosteronal glory than the one he knew before on Andromeda.

“Q,” answered the lady in red. “Q is behind all of this.”

The twelve men, Rhade, Dylan-Herc, and Iolaus all turned their attention to the beautiful brunette. The twelve smelly men, suddenly remembering their original mission to subdue the lady in red, without warning stampeded towards the woman in the red mauslin dress. Immediately Rhade, Dylan-Herc, and Iolaus sprang into action.

The first odorous man that came at Dylan-Herc was met by a blow of superhuman strength that sent him flying thirty feet in the opposite direction. Rhade’s eyes became as big as saucers. ‘Where did he learn to fight like that?’ thought Rhade bitterly. Before he could think upon the matter, however, the snaggletoothed leader came towards him in a rush, baring all three teeth ferociously. The woman behind Rhade, remembering how foul this man smelled upon her last encounter with him, screamed when she realized this Nietzschean in the tight leather trousers was the only thing standing between her and his foul stench. Hearing her cry and seeing this as an opportunity not to be outdone by the new and slightly-more-buff Dylan-Herc, Rhade immediately sprang into action, baring his boneblades and growling fiercely as he sliced them into the three-toothed man. Iolaus also fought bravely, kicking and punching in every direction with impressive speed, agility, and accuracy. The three men fought with all their might, but in the end it really wasn’t much of a match. In just a few seconds, all twelve of the smelly men went running in all directions, like a pack of dogs fleeing with their tails between their legs. Rhade was disappointed that they didn’t stick around a while longer so that he could get a better chance to impress the lady in red with his supreme fighting abilities.

After it was over, Rhade turned around to face his ultimate prize for victory – the lady in red. Immediately she wrapped her arms around him as tight as she could. In a flash, Dylan-Herc and Iolaus was there as well, waiting for their turn to receive a hug from the beautiful brunette. Rhade, seeing what was happening and not wanting this to turn into a competition for her attention, instead held on to the woman that much more tightly, all the while gloating over her shoulder at the other two standing there. Dylan-Herc glared back at Rhade, while Iolaus shuffled his feet nervously.

‘Why do I even bother?’ lamented Iolaus. ‘No one’s gonna pay any attention to me anyway, what with these two here.’ And with that, Iolaus left, all the while muttering to himself about how he wished his buddy Herc had stayed the heck away from him.

“I need a drink," quipped Iolaus, still rubbing his behind.

“Are you quite through, Rhade?” asked Dylan-Herc sarcastically as the victorious Nietzschean continued to cuddle his prize.  

“Well I don’t know, Dylan…I suppose that’s up to the lady. After all, she is the one who took the initiative in the first place. Why don’t I ask her.” Rhade stopped cuddling the woman momentarily to look into her eyes. “Are we through, or would you like to continue this some more?” The gleam in Rhade’s eyes let the woman know that he really had no desire to stop. She blushed in embarrassment as she realized that not only was the man drop dead gorgeous in leather, but had a charm and wit about him which made her melt.

“I believe she has no desire to quit, Dylan…and neither do I.” Immediately Rhade’s right arm grabbed the woman by the waist and pulled her into him. Just as swiftly, his left hand reached behind her neck and he leaned into her, planting a long passionate kiss which almost left her breathless.  

‘This is too much,’ thought Dylan-Herc. ‘Just who does he think he is, anyway?’

“Ahem…” Dylan cleared his throat in annoyance. Both however, obviously caught up in the moment, ignored him completely. While they continued in their liplock for what seemed to be several minutes, Dylan-Herc almost wished Q had let him have a wristwatch on this trip so that he could time them. It was unbelievable…the fact that the both of them could continue for so long and not even come up for air - had Dylan-Herc not been so jealous, he might have considered it an admirable trait.

In the meantime, there was a bright flash of light and Q appeared on the scene.

“Oh, this is so darling! It reminds me of old times, my dear.”

Rhade and the lady stopped their moment of passion long enough to look at Q. “What do you mean, old times?” asked the woman.

“Oh, that’s right…I keep forgetting you have no memory of who you are.”

“And what do you mean leaving me here all alone with a gang of twelve smelly men on horses and no escape?”

“Why my pet…had I not done just that, you would not have had the opportunity to be rescued, and I must say what a rescue it was! Unless of course, you would have preferred I do the rescuing. But I digress…Dylan, how do you like your new getup? Pretty snazzy, don’t you think?”

“What have you done to me, Q?” demanded Dylan-Herc.

“What, you don’t like it?” replied Q. “Well, don’t blame me for your ensemble. I didn’t choose your attire. Just brought it out of the mothballs, so to speak.”

“What is he talking about?” Rhade asked Dylan-Herc. Normally the very sight of Q would have caused Rhade to go into a fit of rage and try to choke the life out of him, but his encounter with the lady in red and their subsequent kiss of passion had softened him…just a bit.

“Nothing, Rhade,” answered Dylan-Herc.

“Oh really, mon Capitain, your Nietzschean pet deserves the truth from you. After all, it was because of you that he joined Andromeda, it was you that got him into countless scrapes and near misses, and it was your fault he was marooned on that awful planet for so many months…what did you call it…Seefra-1?”

By this time, Dylan-Herc was fuming. Q continued on, unabated.

“You should have seen how he sniveled and whined those nine months on Seefra…not to mention that awful man Thomas that he had to be subjected to…and those smelly inhabitants…and ugly women. I thought it was time to even the odds, so to speak. After all, you being Paradine didn’t give Rhade much chance to settle the score. But having me – Q – on his side, well…stroke of genius!”

“My side?! You tried to kiss me!” snarled Rhade, remembering their previous encounter with a shudder. The thought of what had almost happened gave Rhade the creepy crawlies, and to compensate he held the lady in red that much tighter and closer to himself.

“Why Rhade, I’m surprised at you!” answered Q. “I had to see if you would be attracted to this woman. After all, had I sent her to you first, you might have harmed my poor pet. Then I would have had to take care of you myself. As for you, Dylan…are you beginning to come home from your past? Do you remember who you really are?”

Dylan-Herc thought for a moment. Those dreams…they weren’t just his imagination. They were pent up memories, dying to be exposed. He was Paradine, formerly Hercules, now Dylan. Of course! It all made sense now.

“Let the games continue!” shouted Q with glee, and vanished.

“Wait a minute!” shouted the lady in red. “I still don’t know who I am!”

“Does it really matter at this point?” answered Rhade. He pulled her close as the both of them commenced in joining together for yet another long…very long…breathtakingly long…liplock.

“Great…just great,” Dylan-Herc sniveled to himself. “

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