Captain Picard looked around him, wondering what sort of trouble Q had gotten him into this time. During their previous encounters, Q had transported Jean-Luc to many different places, or maybe they were planes of existence – but never before had he seen anything quite like this. The place was dark and smelly; a sort of cavelike structure, consisting of rock and several passageways, none of which he dared explore. Every now and then, he heard the faint sound of something akin to an animal squeal, not unlike a pig or a large insect. The sound was ominous, unsettling, and somewhat terrifying.

“Q! I demand you show yourself this instant!” Picard, being somewhat used to Q and his antics, nevertheless was becoming more and more perturbed when he realized his nemesis was delaying his appearance more than usual this time. Suddenly, there was a flash of light and Q appeared before him.

“Tsk, tsk…patience, Mon Capitain. You cannot expect to command all of my attention. I had other pressing matters to attend to,” replied Q with a patronizing air.

“Where am I this time, Q?” demanded Picard.

“Not exactly your favorite vacation spot on Risa, is it Jean-Luc?” It was only on rare occasions that Q’s mood showed such somberness. Picard remembered that look, just before Q had plunged them thousands of light years away to the Delta quadrant, where he and his crew of the Enterprise had had their first encounter with the Borg and their cube ship. He remembered the utter inferiority of his crew’s ability to fight this superior foe, and the sheer helplessness he felt, as many of them died that day for nothing more than for Q to prove his point that humans weren’t ready to explore the universe. It was because of Q that the battle with the Borg at Wolf-359 had happened when it did. Because of Q’s incessant tampering with the space-time continuum, the Federation was forced to face the Borg several years – decades even, before they were technologically evolved enough to put up any kind of fight. The ensuing battle ended up being a slaughter, with practically an entire fleet of Federation starships being destroyed or rendered helpless by just one Borg cube. Every time Q got involved in something, it seemed, sentient life suffered. Picard’s gut wrenched as he realized this might yet be another test, and he shuddered to think what the ominous consequences of this meeting would prove to be.

“What is this place, Q? It’s obviously not a Borg vessel. The structure suggests organic life and not synthetic.”

“My, how intelligent and perceptive of you, Picard – for an inferior ape-like species, that is.”

“Well?”

“Well what?”

“Where am I?” Picard had just about had enough of Q’s games. His jaws clenched and his hands tightened into fists, ready to strike out at the next instant Q didn’t give him an answer.

“Relax, Jean-Luc. Really, you’re too uptight. But I guess I should expect that from a captain. Still, I think Dylan Hunt is taking this whole affair much more in stride than you are – especially since it appears his Nietzschean lapdog got the girl this time. Hey, I know…how about I dress you up in leather? Would that put you in a better mood?”

“Just tell me where I am, and that will suffice.”

“Oh all right. You’re on the Magog World Ship. There, does that make you feel better?”

“What are the Magog?”

“I knew you wouldn’t understand if I told you. Yet you insisted, so I inclined to your wishes – and do you know why, you silly human? It’s because, as much as I simply adore amusing myself with the others, you have always been my favorite. My, but how the years go by so quickly for mortals, don’t they? Why, it seems just like yesterday when you and your crew had your first mission at Farpoint Station. Those were some fun times, were they not, Jean-Luc?” Q’s attempt at reminiscence was becoming much more than Picard could endure. The Federation Captain’s patience was wearing thin, and he was incensed.

“You put humanity on trial!”

“Indeed – and you won your right to exist. Honestly, I don’t know what you’re getting so worked up about.”

“Q, if you have any decency in you, you will stop this charade right now and tell me what you want!”

Q’s visage changed to one of seriousness. “It isn’t what I want, Picard. It’s the Q Continuum. They’re still not convinced they made the right decision to allow humanity to continue in their mad dash for superiority and conquest. Therefore, they have sent me as an ambassador, if you will.”

“For what?”

“Why, to see if their fears are founded, of course!”

“Fears? If the Q Continuum is so supreme, why do they fear us puny humanoids?”

“Well, they don’t ‘fear’ you exactly – but there is a certain amount of concern. And honestly Jean-Luc, I’m not sure I disagree with them this time. I mean, look at you. Humans, Nietzscheans, Klingons…you’re all the same. Fighting your petty battles, conquering your puny worlds, subduing other life forms and bending them to your will. Really, it’s pathetic.”

“No more pathetic than a so-called superior race like yours toying with others simply out of boredom and some kind of masochistic amusement.”

“Really, I’m surprised at you Captain…and hurt. I thought you enjoyed spending time with me. I mean, haven’t we had fun, Picard?”

“I would not call our encounters ‘fun’. I will admit they were enlightening at times – but never fun. Look at you, Q – you have the potential to do so much good in the universe. But instead, you think of everything as a game, don’t you?”

“But isn’t that what it is? A game? I mean, think about it. The universe is chaotic. Good things happen to the bad, and bad things happen to the good. Take this place, for instance. The beings that live here thrive on the death and destruction of other living beings. They have no culture to speak of, no literacy, no art, no esthetic beauty whatsoever…yet they go on existing, and for what? They are parasites, feeding on suffering, raping and pillaging wherever they go. What gives them the right – indeed, any of you – the right to exist?”

“I do.” A figure spoke out of the darkness, the voice coming from one of the openings in the cave.

For the first time in his existence, Q himself seemed baffled at the identity of the stranger. “Who’s there?”

“What Q, you mean you don’t recognize me? I’m offended and deeply, deeply hurt!” the voice rang out in feigned indignation.

Not to be outdone, Q pretended to understand whom he was speaking to. After all, if others were to believe he to be a god, it would behoove him to at least pretend to be omniscient. “Of course I recognize you. You’re…you’re…step out into the light where I can see you. I hate talking into darkness.”

Slowly a figure emerged from the blackened darkness and into the subdued light of the cavern. It was the lady in red.

“My dear…how did you get here?” Q’s eyes became as big as saucers. He was genuinely shocked and bewildered – not to mention more than a bit nervous.

“I’m not sure what did it. Maybe it was the excitement of battle, the sheer joy of watching three men in tight leather trousers, or maybe it was that absolutely delightful kiss Rhade gave me – but after our last encounter, I finally had an epiphany. At last, my memory returned and I remembered who I was.”

Q laughed nervously. “That’s impossible.”

“Oh, but it’s quite possible, Q. And do you know what? It’s my turn to have some fun with you!”

There was a bright flash of light as Q, along with Jean-Luc Picard, disappeared from the Magog cave. The lady in red had returned, and she was bent on vengeance.

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